My Oven is Preheating

There aren't any buns in there yet, but it is definitely warming up in preparation. I'm sure it doesn't come as much of a surprise that (Brad and) I have an elevated spike on our Baby Fever. It seems to be the only thing on my mind lately.

Six months ago, I made the comment that I hope the Lord just surprised us with a baby blessing, because I could not ever fathom consciously making the decision to get pregnant, regardless of the fact that I knew I eventually wanted (lots of) children. For some reason, that initial leap from "single life" to parenthood seemed impossible to willingly commit to, even though I have always prayed for the Lord's blessings over our future family. However, much has changed since I made that comment. Well, actually, I don't really believe anything has changed except for our perceptions.

I truly believe that the Spirit has placed the urge on our hearts, where before it was not. All of the sudden, out of the clear blue one day, as I was walking to the elevator at work, a random thought jumped into my mind, "My life is just not complete without a child." ---Wait. What?? Where in the world did that come from?? I definitely hadn't been talking about it. I hadn't even been thinking about it! The declaration caught me so off guard that I failed to step onto of the elevator before the doors closed on me. A few months past this incident, I am convinced that my heart needed a little prodding from Above. Ever since that moment, I have had this incredible longing to start our family.

A few other factors have no doubt heightened the situation. There are seven (seven!) pregnant friends on my current prayer list. A large number of our friends already have children, many of them babies 2 and under. I'm teaching the 2-year-old Bible class on Wednesday evenings at church and have fallen in love with them. We've been spending a lot of time with a family of 7, and absolutely love hanging out with their five children. I have a stinking adorable niece that's not quite 2 yet who melts my heart every time I even think of her, and my brother is oh-so-close (February 16th!) to having another baby, a boy this time!

Thankfully, after 3 1/2 years of marriage, Brad is overwhelmingly on board. He may perform the occasional exaggerated eye-roll at the mention of a pregnancy in front of our friends just to keep with his "tough exterior," but he's undoubtedly in all the way. He's even open to having a lot of children, (I'm talking 5+! Thanks, Bakers!) where before, I was begging him to have two or three. We're praying about and discussing topics such as homeschooling, cloth diapers, and establishing healthy eating habits. (Which, if you know me and know my minimal inclination to cook, you know how huge of an alteration that will require!) Every decision is being made with a baby in the picture. His new job at the bank was pursued to ensure some job and financial stability which will allow for me to stay home after we have children. Our apartment lease is up at the end of March, and our next residence must have a room that we can transform into an adorable nursery.

It's so comforting to rest in the fact that God already knows each of our children by name. (We only know the first boy and girl - Maddox and Madison.) He knows how many we have and at what time they join our family. I am confident that the Lord has blessed our future with children, even if they turn out to not be our own biologically. I know that our future involves a big family that will together travel through life toward Heaven. If all goes as we'd like, we may even have a little one within 2010!