Blah. I'm in a bad mood. Is that even allowed? I feel like it's not really allowed for me to ever actually be crabby, since it's literally my job (as a receptionist) to have a friendly smile on my face 100% of the time and kindly greet clients and coworkers all day, every day. But that's exactly what I am today. Crabby.
Maybe it's just a bad case of the Mondays (C'mon. Who doesn't love Office Space??), but I'm not motivated at all. Not even to blog, which is usually my joyful escape at work. And I have a couple different blog posts ready to go just waiting around in my head, including a great visit with my niece and nephew from over a week ago. Man, a Case of the Mondays + Complete Procrastination = Total Slacker.
Oh well. We're all entitled to a bad day, right? Even people who actually get paid to be happy and cheerful? I can just be real for a day, right? Even on my own blog, where I want people to always and only perceive me as joyful and loving and completely aware of all of God's love and blessings? You guys won't judge me for keeping my "Everything is Peachy Keen Smiley Face" mask on the floor for a day, will ya? Sometimes, I just don't know if I have the energy to pick it up and put on the show.
I want to be real. I want to be transparent. I want to be genuine... So, for today, no happy-go-lucky blog posts to pretend like all is hunky dory. Maybe tomorrow I'll have the energy and be in a better mood. But today, this is all ya get. Sorry 'bout that.
Luckily, however, even when life catches up with us and it doesn't happen to be as awesome as we'd like, it's such a comfort to know that God is still right beside me, no matter what. Whether I'm genuinely happy, faking happy, or not even trying to pretend, He'll never leave me, or ever love me any less.
Ahhh... that feels nice...
Now, this is the point at which I list all of the blessings and great things in my life to convince myself that nothing is really wrong, and I'm just fine. Talk myself out of any crabbiness. But seriously, don't.have.the.energy. Please just take it for granted that I am completely aware that God is great, and that my life is full of goodness and blessings. I know many people have much harder lives and more difficult truths to deal with than I do. I fully understand that God will take care of me and everything will always work out in the end. But, just for today, I'm gunna let the crabby, frustrated, discouraged, real self out for a little breather. Just for a minute.
Ahhh... that feels nice, too...
Okay, thanks for still being my friend, today, even when I'm not a whole lot of fun to be around. It really means a lot to me. Really.