He is My Strength When I am Weak

There's a lot going on my life right now. Those that are closest to me are aware of my different current trials. I have to admit, over the last few months, I have genuinely felt as though I couldn't possibly handle everything and make it through all of this in one piece. I'm so tempted, every day, to sit in a puddle of pity and ask, "Why? How in the world can I possibly survive this?" I've done quite a bit of soul-searching recently. And through books, songs, conversations, and lots of prayer, God has revealed a few things to me. First of all, He has made me understand that I can't possibly survive all of this on my own. I need Him. I need Him. Thankfully, the Lord knows where I am weak, and it is there that He can truly demonstrate his Love and Strength. He's also shown me another over arching concept to soak in: It's not all about me. I'm hurting as a direct result of pain in the lives of people that I love dearly. How can I possibly feel sorry for myself, when they are the ones hurting so badly? So, with God's guidance, I have decided to (really attempt to) think of the other people's pain in each of these situations, rather than my own. It. is. not. all. about. me.

I've prayed continuously for months for God to use me in whatever ways necessary to make an impact within these circumstances. I'm not going to lie; it's hard. It's really hard, actually. Oftentimes, I just want to curl up in a ball and close out the world. But my Father is faithful to hold me up. I have been shocked by the perseverance that He has bestowed upon me in these different situations. Praise Him! I'm so thankful to rest in the fact that God is in control. He is not surprised by any of these events or emotions, because He knew of them before they even happened. I have faith that He has a ultimate plan as well as a path by which to arrive there. I just pray (very fervently) that I can be a vessel through which these plans can be achieved, and that with His help, I can be the a rock in the lives of the people that I love. That I can be strong where they are weak, and provide a shoulder to cry on, an understanding heart, and an encouraging word. God sometimes needs people to help facilitate His will. Somebody's got to do it. Here am I, send me.